do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
