I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
