i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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