dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
