u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
