some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
