Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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