Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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