I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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