Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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