it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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