when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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