our cab driver is having phone sex.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
