dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
