pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
