No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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