i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
