yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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