it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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