He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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