Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
