I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
