i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
