I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I look better un-naked...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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