Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
