Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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