i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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