Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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