dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
