We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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