I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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