i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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