I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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