My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize