i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We don't watch enough power rangers
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
