I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
