DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize