Where is the hickey?
false alarm. still invincible.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
