Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
