he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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