She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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