Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
