super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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