I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
