We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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