I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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