She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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