guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
