Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Boobs speak an international language.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
