she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
