I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
