If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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