If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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