We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
