Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
