wat bout pragnant strippers??
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
