he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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