there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
