It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm passing your future prison.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
