I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
