How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize