What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize