Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
